Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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