The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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