this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
