I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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