Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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