So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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