Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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