two words...techno handjob
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dicks are not precious.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize