eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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