I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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