He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize