I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I could fuck to npr.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
