At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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