just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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