His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
