You really coming over, don't trick.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
