just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
