Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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