The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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