I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
