hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
even my farts smell like vagina
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she told me i tasted like america
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
