What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
