I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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