I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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