Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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