like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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