Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I showed him my bush... on skype.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
