just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
