you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
