How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
