Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
