I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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