If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
