I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
