Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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