six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize