would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
