As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
