Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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