just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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