i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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