have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
