I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
