Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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