the condom got lost in my hair
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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