i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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