"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
