and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
