I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
