If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
honey bunches of taint.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize