in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
