If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
