Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
