Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
