You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
