We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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