My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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