I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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