dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
