im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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