is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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