this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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