While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
