I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
